This is how the stress snowball started.
My husband and I are watching our 14 month old granddaughter for ten days, and this is day two. Our dog is with us.
My husband is worried the dog will hurt the baby, so he is stressed about that - on top of already being stressed about taking care of a toddler. He keeps yelling at the dog any time she comes close to the baby. The dog senses his stress, and then has additional stress because what the hell is that thing with all the new smells and crazy sounds?
The baby took a long nap yesterday and we misjudged when to put her to bed. She screamed. A lot. Well, first because she didn’t want to get out of the bath and then second because we kept trying to put her in footies that were too small, and THEN because she didn’t want to go to bed. We got her out of the crib and played for another thirty minutes and she was fine.
The dog was not fine. She ran back and forth between us and the bedroom door before finally settling down.
Except then she got up every hour last night to check the door again, waking up my husband, who woke me up, not intentionally, but when you’re sleeping next to someone if they’re talking to the dog then you wake up. At least I do.
Then this morning I got in my daughter-in-law’s electric car that my husband had kindly warmed up for me, but I couldn’t get it in gear. Turned out that he hadn’t actually started it. That made me five minutes late.
I brought my granddaughter to daycare, but forgot the code to get into the building. I said something like “I’m a grandma and I don’t know what I’m doing” to the mom behind me and she let me in. I hate not knowing what I’m doing.
I drove 40 minutes to attend a different than my usual Weight Watchers meeting, and when I got there I wasn’t sure which door to enter through. Following the noise I found my way into a packed room of very loud people.
I introduced myself to the leader. I found a seat in the back and said good morning to the women seated around me. I participated in the discussion. I looked fine, but I was not fine. My entire body was wrapped tighter than a really tight thing.
I stress ate a Starbucks chocolate croissant before driving back to our son’s house.
And now here I am, wondering how the hell to handle the stress snowball getting bigger every day, because chocolate is not the answer.
One place to start is to remember I’ve got to trust the process of going from new to routine. I came here with unrealistic expectations and that did not serve me well.
Of course we are going to fumble with bedtime.
Of course the dog is going to feel insecure.
Of course my husband is going to be nervous and of course I am going to be chill (but possibly not in a good way).
This is every new thing we have ever done together, plus a toddler and a dog.
Ah, there it is. This is what we do, him and I. We come at things from different angles, stir it all up in a whirlwind - or maybe I should say a snowstorm to keep with my analogy - and then once it settles down we are always okay.
Whew!
The way to handle the snowball growing bigger is to remember that it melts.
Just like feelings rise and fall. Just like times, both good and bad, eventually end. Like winter turns to spring turns to summer. There is a cycle to everything and we are currently living in a snowball building cycle.
That’s okay. We have been here before, both separately and together, and we will be here again. My task is to breathe, and to focus on the good stuff, letting the other stuff be background noise.
After all, we are only with the granddaughter at this age in this moment. I can soak up the smiles and giggles and tip-toey feet as she explores the world, even while it is snowing.